haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
