i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
