while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
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Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
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I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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