Sober January is a disaster.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I need a burrito and a hug.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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