how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
