Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
last night I used snow as a chaser
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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