Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.

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(317): View more from Indiana

One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom

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(847): View more from Illinois

My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

We welcome drunken adversity.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

With open legs.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !

(779): View more from Illinois

You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.

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(905): View more from Ontario

All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind

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(720): View more from Colorado

Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie

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