I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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