my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.