dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So apparently I’m into choking now
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