Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
