he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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