Screwed.edu
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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