Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
