I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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