It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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