plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
