it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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