sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
