And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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