that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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