i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
