I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You can't just leave with hair like that
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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