singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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