forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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