oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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