please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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