i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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