ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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