I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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