it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
