I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize