If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize