I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
