The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
