My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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