ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
