Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
