You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
