In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
