Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
