Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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