Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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