i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
