All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
