i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
