i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
