**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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