ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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