Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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