is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize