I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
