u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize