How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Of course I have a pirate flag
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
