um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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