Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.

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(231): View more from Michigan

You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?

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(434): View more from Virginia

was i wearing any clothes at that point?

(1-434): View more from Virginia

socks and a thong

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