that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
