tell your sister to shave her snatch
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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