It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
