Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
