I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
